August 11, 2008

6 Steps to No Regrets

How many times have you looked back and regretted actions, behaviors or decisions?

Kiss regrets goodbye!

First, avoid wasting time doing things that you really don’t want to do. It’s perfectly OK to say, “no thanks, have a good time”, or “no I don’t want to join you at the concert, but maybe we can do something else another time.” It may sound easy but this can really be difficult for many more people than you could imagine. Practice with smaller things and gradually build upon that.

Secondly, in the evening, Write down a goal for the following day. When you wake up the next day, do it. Simple but effective.

Third, tell the people you care about just how you feel. It’s not a mushy thing to do and you won’t look like a sap. You’re just sharing your heart with another.

Fourth, stop putting off that trip you have been meaning to take someday. If money has been holding you back. Start putting away money each week that is strictly for the trip. Open a special savings account if you are concerned about getting it mixed up with your other savings.

Fifth, lighten up. Don’t take yourself so seriously that you are no longer able to laugh at yourself. Too many times, we are the ones that are pressuring us the most. Try practicing looking outward at the beauty in life, rather than inward at the things you feel are flawed about you. Here’s a news-flash...NOBODY is perfect:)

Sixth and most importantly, take your dream off the shelf and start living it. Stir up that dormant passion that has always been inside of you and start living it. It won’t just fall in your lap, you have to make it happen. Take the risk and GO FOR IT!

by Nyla Lengacher

August 05, 2008

How to Mingle

Mingling can be one of the most difficult things to do for those with social anxieties. The idea of going to a gathering and walking around the room briefly speaking to strangers or even acquaintances can be terrifying. Try the following strategies to make the event more manageable.

1) Look for someone that is standing alone. Walk up to them and introduce yourself. If it is a party, you may ask how they know the host/hostess.

2) Don’t feel as though you have to stay around that person all night just because you spoke to them. It is perfectly appropriate and acceptable to have some brief exchanges and then move on by saying something like, “Well, I’m going to visit with some other people. It was nice to meet you”.

3) If it is something like an art opening, you can discuss the art and ask if they have a favorite painting, etc. Discussing the things that you may have in common can make the exchange a bit easier.

4) Be aware of your body language. Make eye contact and smile. This lets others know that you are open to speaking to them.

5) Remind yourself that there are probably many others in the room that are just as uncomfortable as you are.

by Nyla Lengacher