Boundaries in Relationships
What is a boundary anyway? I try to envision a boundary in relationship to others as the line we have that shows us where we end and another person begins. When our comfort level ends and we begin to feel uncomfortable with something, it is usually a sign that a boundary needs to be set. Too many times the limit is not set because of not wanting to hurt the other person’s feelings or fearing we would not be liked or accepted if we draw the line or say no. This can be anything from going on the second date when the first date clearly showed you one was enough, to becoming an Engineer because your father always wanted you to become one. Boundaries are wonderful things that I promise, you will enjoy more and more as you practice setting them.
What are some of the benefits? Decreased resentments, minimized stress, better use of your time and best of all, the more you set them, the more you will become aware of who you are apart from others.
by Nyla Lengacher
April 06, 2008
February 26, 2008
What Are You Thinking About?
How much does our thinking effect the way we view the world around us? Do we even consider this? Try to take just one day and remain as aware as possible of your thoughts. Think about what you are thinking about. As you do this, try and note the mood or emotions that you are having associated with those thoughts. Thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to behaviors. We can't get away from the connection and that’s a good thing. We can begin to create our lives as we choose how we perceive life. It all starts with believing we can change, recognizing what our thinking patterns are, catching ourselves when we are heading down a negative path and turning those thoughts into something more positive. Some may say, "that's just lying to myself". Whether you fully believe it or not isn't the point. Do it anyway because the more you practice, the more you will actually start to believe it. You will have the incentive of slowly seeing your mood improve. Give it a try, what have you got to lose?
by Nyla Lengacher
How much does our thinking effect the way we view the world around us? Do we even consider this? Try to take just one day and remain as aware as possible of your thoughts. Think about what you are thinking about. As you do this, try and note the mood or emotions that you are having associated with those thoughts. Thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to behaviors. We can't get away from the connection and that’s a good thing. We can begin to create our lives as we choose how we perceive life. It all starts with believing we can change, recognizing what our thinking patterns are, catching ourselves when we are heading down a negative path and turning those thoughts into something more positive. Some may say, "that's just lying to myself". Whether you fully believe it or not isn't the point. Do it anyway because the more you practice, the more you will actually start to believe it. You will have the incentive of slowly seeing your mood improve. Give it a try, what have you got to lose?
by Nyla Lengacher
Small Steps Towards Change
When you’re ready to make a change there are ways to make the transition easier. Too many times when someone decides to make a change in their life, they focus too much on the change and give up when they don't see the progress they hope for. What needs to happen instead is focusing on the NEW behavior that you would like to add to your life’s activities. For example, let’s say that you want to begin eating more healthy. You might say, “OK, I am going to start eating healthy tomorrow”. If you think about it, that is a bit unrealistic and can be a recipe (no pun intended) for failure. Why don’t you instead pick just one meal that you are going to make sure is healthy. Give yourself a week or two with that one and then add another healthy meal to your day. Breaking things down into smaller steps goes a long way.
by Nyla Lengacher
When you’re ready to make a change there are ways to make the transition easier. Too many times when someone decides to make a change in their life, they focus too much on the change and give up when they don't see the progress they hope for. What needs to happen instead is focusing on the NEW behavior that you would like to add to your life’s activities. For example, let’s say that you want to begin eating more healthy. You might say, “OK, I am going to start eating healthy tomorrow”. If you think about it, that is a bit unrealistic and can be a recipe (no pun intended) for failure. Why don’t you instead pick just one meal that you are going to make sure is healthy. Give yourself a week or two with that one and then add another healthy meal to your day. Breaking things down into smaller steps goes a long way.
by Nyla Lengacher
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